But if you're looking at it like it's a cold beer that's half full, the positive on the situation is that I DID get out of bed and I DID get outside and I DID run.
What would the homeless lady do without me anyway? I had to do it. I had to do it for her.
What was my excuse for only running a mile? Just general laziness. And I may have had more than my share of drinks the night before.
So there I was on Friday with the shakes after a long day of work. I was cold sweating profusely as I walked into the booze barn to fulfill my prescription. I sprinted toward the whisky isle knocking over an older lady to pick up my meds.
The shakes continued as I crawled through the checkout line while drooling all over myself. I thought about making a drink once I got back in the car, or at least taking a quick pull, but I decided against it. I raced home and bolted through the door.
I headed to the kitchen to grab a glass when I heard a beautiful angel sound. I turned and looked in the direction of the heavenly noise and saw my baby boy frolicking around in the brush of his play jungle. I immediately stopped sweating, shaking, and drooling and everything was alright. I tapped my chest twice with my fist and pointed to the sky like any athlete would do.
I left the kitchen, put on my safari outfit, and started playing in the jungle with him.
Later that evening after we put Zane to crib, I resumed my activities in the kitchen and made a round of drinks for the wife and me.
And there's your lesson for the day...kids before booze.
For documentation purposes, it should be noted that Zane received his second round of vaccinations on Friday. Preventative maintenance is complete for now.
I think I was working during his first round of shots, but I made sure to be there for this round. There were 4 shots total, and boy was he pissed off when that first big needle protruded his little right baby leg.
I've never seen him so mad and I couldn't help it, but I started laughing uncontrollably. Through the tears in my eyes, I looked over at Phoebe and she had that look...you know the one...the look that says I'm about to slap the shit out of you if you don't stop laughing at our boy.
I couldn't help it though. He's such a laid back kid and rarely gets upset at anything. But he's a tough kid and moments later, it was like nothing had happened. But good Lord, IT.WAS.FUNNY!
I didn't run again until Monday which was when sweet baby Jesus turned the air conditioner on high outside. It was dang cold.
It's a good thing I've been given the great gift of beard growth or I may have gotten frost bite on my perty face...especially at the speed I was running.
Yes, I'm proud of my beard. Why wouldn't I be? My boy beard has grown from an 8th graders mustache into a young man beard that recently graduated from beard high school and is headed to beard college.
And once my beard graduates from beard college, maybe it will aspire to be a duck dynasty beard.
Something tells me Phoebe won't allow a duck dynasty beard. I guess if you removed the 'dy' from dynasty, you could find the reason why.
Back to my run on Monday...I was hoping my homeless lady friend would have a fire burning in one of the park trash cans in case I needed to warm up, but she didn't, she was just bundled up to the nines and eye sexing me as I ran around in my skimpy running outfit.
The tough thing about running when it's cold outside is
And finally, TODAY I had a Wednesday Funday Lunchday Run. And I set my North American personal best record for 2 miles.
Monday's Final Running Numbers
Distance - 2.00 miles
Time - 15 minutes and 56 seconds
Avg Time per Mile - 7:58 min/mile
Today's Final Running Numbers
Distance - 2.00 miles
Time - 14 minutes and 46 seconds
Avg Time per Mile - 7:24 min/mile
<courtesy of RunKeeper>
And what is your south american 2 mile record beard boy?
ReplyDeleteMy South American record has yet to be established, but it will be, and all south americans will praise me.
DeleteBeard is coming in STRONG!!
ReplyDeleteI'm damn near the homeless stage of beard growth.
Delete